Getting Over the Initial FearUncategorized
Originally, I had written this post with the intention of explaining the processes I used to book my budget flights. I realized that I was lacking the most important element of my travel experience; getting over my initial fear of the unknown. I’m not afraid to admit that I am Scared As Hell. Even as I write this two days before my trip, I’m still having second thoughts about this life-changing decision. My parents think I’m going through some sort of mid-life crisis and keep questioning my perception of reality by putting myself in what they think is “imminent danger.” But I realized if I constantly sought their validation or that perfect moment to go, I would never leave. I can only do what I think is best for me.
Waking up one morning and suddenly feeling like “I need to get the hell out of here” sparked this chain of events that has me leaving New York for Ireland on Labor Day. There is some sort of void in my life that cannot be filled while staying in one place. This void is so great that I’m willing to risk everything to lie with strangers on a dairy farm in the middle of Clonakilty. I don’t personally know any young black women my age feeling this way. Hell, I don’t personally know anyone my age bold enough to take such a risk. I emphasize the words ‘black woman’ because my family is under the impression that my “budget adventure” is reserved only to the likes of white hipsters or hobos with no idea what they want to do in life. I’m sorry, but I don’t share these sentiments.
I feel that people close to me can’t grasp the idea that I’m not content with posting pics on social media of some resort in Cancun or sticking to clichẻd tourist attractions. I need to connect with something real. I need the world to be more than just my oyster; I need it to be my blank canvas.
As I sit here, wine in one had pen in the other, ( yes, I still like to write my feeling first) I’ll never forget the internal courage it took to get me to this point. Despite all of the doubts and overthinking of things that could go wrong for a black woman traveling alone, I have to stay true to what I want. I can be weird, quirky, spontaneous, and random at times but that’s the beauty of creating a vision that no one else can see. When I learned to silence the audible and visual perceptions that others had of my decisions, my reason and purpose became crystal clear. My itinerary fell into place, I found hosts that valued sustainability, and I found a renewed sense of strength and confidence in myself.
As I look at these words, I hope someone else is inspired to take a chance and explore. Listen to that voice inside of you saying that “there is more to life” and create your more.